I posted the first part of the story in September:
I also posted a follow-up piece about the importance of staying away from labels and stereotypes in the dating world:
Here's what happened next:
Planning Date 3
He was traveling for over a week out of the state. I had not heard from him since his earlier text message, so I reached out to him.
(Note: Lots of girl dating advice teaches not ever to call a guy, text a guy, etc. To me, those kind of rules are unhelpful (unless a girl is so mired in a negative dating vibe that she really just needs to open up space in her life). A guy might not even know that the girl is interested in him if she follows those rules, plus the girl is likely to get up in her head about the "proper" thing to do rather than being in her heart where she can connect with a man. I have one rule: follow my intuition and my heart.)
So this is our text conversation, more or less:
Me: Lol. :-) I wish you were reading my blog. You preoccupied?
Him: I would love to read your blog. I'm in Florida. Do you want to chat a little bit tonight?
Me: I feel a little shy to share it with you. I wrote about some of our adventures. Is that ok?
Him: Don't be shy. Our adventures can be shared.
Me: I'm afraid you may have become a bit of an anonymous legend in pickup artist circles. I want to bring the benefits of spirituality to that world, and sharing our adventures is helping me do that. [note: I'm sharing what's alive in me, what's motivating me, which helps me to connect with him]
Him: I'm smiling to that. What's the url? I'm going to bed though so no time to chat. I will read it for a moment before I go to sleep or tomorrow morning. Is that ok?
Me: Of course. I'm glad you are so open. I miss you. It's http://www.awakeningfromthedream.blogspot.com [making myself pretty vulnerable, putting it all out there]
Ten minutes go by and my text goes off again.
Him: You have such a way with words Erika. I wish I could hear them tonight but I must rest. I'm so thankful for your unfettered attention to the blending of our energies. We were supposed to meet indeed. I can't wait to see you when I get back into town. Leave Friday night open. [very sexy, he's taking charge of things again. also I feel acceptance and appreciation and am more likely to be vulnerable and open with him in the future]
Me (next morning): It feels so good to share such a deep part of myself with you and hear your enjoyment of that. I will keep Friday night open for you.
So Friday night comes. He planned for us to go to his friend's art gallery and then out to dinner, and dancing afterwards if we felt like it. He picked me up, and it just felt so comfortable being with him all night. I love that we are both into sharing our energy with other people, it's not just about the two of us.
I spent the night at his place. In the middle of the night, I woke up next to him and noticed that I was feeling something that I haven't felt in a long, long time. I was really turned on, my entire body felt alive, and I was just loving being with him. What was striking though was the complete absence of anxiety or doubts. My "ifs, ands, or buts" had disappeared.
We were messing around this morning, and I was very turned on. He did something I've never seen a guy do. It requires a bit of patience, but was very effective because he is escalating but also enhancing my trust and comfort level.
I'm not sure if I've got the sequence exactly right but it went something like this:
Him: I can feel you getting closer to having sex with me.
Me: Yeah, I still feel a little scared and wanting to go slow but everything in me is saying "yes" to you. I really want you inside me.
Him: Let's wait one more time then. I want you to be certain.
Wow, this is gold.
It's again that empathy thing -- he doesn't just care about getting laid, he also cares about the experience that I'm having. And it shows deep masculine strength only to want to sleep with a girl who is certain about sleeping with you. Very subtle subcommunication.