This morning I am feeling a little bit sad. But I digress ...
I'm going to start a series about non-traditional relationships, and what better way to kick this off than to share (with his permission) an email I received from Entropy, whose blog is linked to mine and is among the best PUA blogs I've seen. He's got the usual aspects of game nailed, but he adds a dimension that many PUAs don't, which is the capacity for emotional intimacy and deeper connection. He also just so happens to be very hot. Mmmmm... Check him out at http://entropy4.blogspot.com/
So over to Entropy:
"My girlfriend and I are in, what I guess you would call an 'open relationship,' although I don't think a label does what we have justice.
"She and I have two fuck buddies together (both girls), one of which we're kind of getting involved with and may end up in a triad with us. The other has a boyfriend, although she's takes the weak route and doesn't tell him she has threesomes with us. We're 100% honest and open about EVERYTHING with each other. We always tell the other person if we've been with other people or if we have intentions to be with other people. She has veto power. As do I. We both agree we're each other's first priority. Sometimes we use the veto power, often we don't.
"In reality, it FEELS monogamous 90% of the time. When it comes down to it, I'd rather be with her than any other girl I've come across and I really have to meet a great girl to be willing to complicate things for. (That's why I said I don't view simply pulling a same night lay as 'success' anymore -- there really has to be something to the girl for me to care now).
"What you need to check out is the concept, 'Polyamory.' There's a great book of the same name by a guy named Anthony Ravenscroft. You should check it out.
"The idea behind it is basically emotional libertarianism. For instance, if I'm in love with you, I accept you unconditionally -- everything and all that you are. If you desire to be with another man, who am I to step in and say you have no right? That desire is part of you, and ostensibly, I accept that desire as part of you. On the contrary, I should love and cherish that desire as much as any other desire you may have. This is where you get the seemingly 'crazy' scenarios where one boyfriend will advise and help console his girlfriend over her relationship with another guy.
"I really believe relationship jealousy and possessiveness are borne out of insecurity and unhealthy co-dependence. If there's anything the seduction community's given me, it's given me the ability to fall in love with whomever I want while never NEEDING them at the same time. It's because I've separated my sense self-worth and value from the person I'm in a relationship with. I love my girlfriend with all of my heart, but if she was gone tomorrow -- although I'd be crushed -- my desires and lifestyle would hardly change. I'd probably just start sarging more.
"The catch with all of this is that it's far easier said than done. Primal emotions and instincts kick in often and feelings get hurt. This kind of relationship requires constant and persistent communication -- not just communication, but the painfully blunt, honest kind, which most people suck at.
"It's harder. It requires more communication, self esteem and emotional fortitude for all parties involved. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. Traditional monogamy just seems like insanity to me now."
Amen, brother. This is the sort of relationship in which I could see myself.
P.S. For those who haven't seen it yet, btw, Entropy made Sinn's Top 10 PUAs list: http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2008/11/my-top-10-puas-list.html.