On a slightly more serious note than yesterday ... after spending the past few years transmuting my karma in pretty much every other area of my life ... the final frontier awaits: sex.
It seems pretty clear based on my experiences over the past six years that I've got some pretty messed up karma in this area. As long as I don't get sexually involved with a guy, our relationship will be enduring, and he may very well want to marry me. If I do get sexually involved, things have tended to become volatile. And I don't like it :( When I'm involved with a guy, the friendship is more important to me than anything else, so volatility that undermines the friendship is not my idea of a good thing. I'm ready to be finished with this pattern forever.
In other areas of my life, the way I've transmuted the karma is to put myself in a series of increasingly intense situations, become present with the feelings and thoughts that come up, apply Emotional Freedom Technique and my other spiritual modalities, and finally become liberated.
I'm open to the possibility that, on the way to being with my permanent partner, perhaps it would be helpful to have a karma transmuting partner. This would be someone who is able to seduce me (a challenge in and of itself ;-) and emotionally strong enough to commit ahead of time to being friends NO MATTER WHAT.
This means he knows he can handle it when the pain body arises, and I'm not always present enough to communicate non-violently. He is strong enough to hear anger, blame, despair, and be pushed away ... without taking it personally, recognizing it's just energy that needs to be released within a space of deep trust. He's willing to make a commitment to stick with me through all of that no matter how intense it gets.
The rewards here would be immense, not only because of the deep friendship aspects of this, but also because the way I've been learning to play with energy and energetic transfer, I have no doubt the intimacy could be out of this world. Literally.
If you think you have what it takes to be a karma transmuting partner, then please email me.