Wow, am I feeling triggered.
I just had another guy on Facebook spout out the "love is a gift, I shouldn't have to make any commitments in my life" line of bullshit.
E. loves that one.
Not man enough to face me, E.?
Anyway, look and listen up, fuckers.
Love may be a gift, but that doesn't mean you can go around doing whatever the fuck you want without any consequences. Let me give you some examples.
I have a house. That's a commitment. If I commit to owning a home and then neglect it or don't pay the property taxes, how do you suppose that's going to turn out for me?
I have two cats. That's a commitment. They have come to depend on me. If I don't feed them or get them a cat sitter when I'm gone, how do you suppose that's going to turn out for them?
I have clients. They pay me significant sums of money to provide a service. If I bail on giving what I promised, how do you think that's going to turn out for both of us?
Conflict, destruction of relationships, destruction of lives, etc.
Love may be a gift, but it's also a commitment. If you induce another human being's vulnerability, then you'd better be prepared to follow through. Inducing another person to rely on you is a commitment.
If you want to enjoy the exquisiteness of a woman's full surrender to you, then you need to provide a safe space for her to surrender into.
A safe space means eliminating the following words from your vocabulary: "needy," "dramatic," "self-absorbed," etc. It means eliminating all judgments.
A safe space means continuing to show up even when you "don't feel like it."
It means thinking through BEFORE YOU GET YOURSELF INTO A SITUATION whether you're going to be able to live up to what you promised.
Why on earth would any high self-esteem woman surrender to a man who is not providing a safe space?
How are you providing a safe space if your love is not constant, reliable, and real?
This is ultimately why I find myself turning down casual sex over and over and over again.
I seriously question whether I will ever have sex again. If I can't trust a guy who spends months cherishing me and offering a safe space to open up into sexually, reassuring me every step of the way, then who can I trust?
What high self-esteem woman would put up with this shit?
And, yes, my anger is sexy. I express it freely, and real men love it.