A Provocative Letter from a Female Reader

Hey everyone,

I am continually amazed by the insightfulness and generosity of my readers here.

A blog reader sent me this letter a few weeks ago, and I've have been meaning to respond to it on blog (with her permission) for a while. I'm still not quite ready to respond, but I re-read the letter today, and I like it so much for all the provocative questions that she raises, that for now I'm publishing it as is. I'll circle back later with a response.

If, in the meantime, any of my readers would like to respond to her, please feel free to email me or post it in the comments section. It'd be especially cool to hear from the guys about her concerns. Hope everyone is having an amazing weekend :-)

Here's the letter:

Hello Erika,

Warning: this is a pretty long email!!

I stumbled upon your blog completely by fluke this past weekend, and was totally taken with how you discuss profound spiritual issues with the earthy, corporeal reality that we all live. I've been going through a pretty significant shift in my life where I'm finally connecting with my body and emotions; I've been an exceptionally controlled woman most of my life, never in touch with my fundamental femininity, and your writings on being in the moment, experiencing flow, being embodied, and paying close attention to how you FEEL in your body have been extremely helpful for me. Your blog is great and I just had to write and tell you that; it really stirred up a lot of ideas and feelings for me.

I've also been struck by the links you've got on your site - I recognise lots of them! I'm totally into Eckhart Tolle, think Non-Violent Communication is awesome, have purchased some of Rori Raye's DVDs, done some EFT, read Byron Katie and Debbie Ford. I felt like I'd hit the jackpot!! I've also been reading about male/female relationship dynamics pretty voraciously for a while and I, too, find the PUA community fascinating for a number of reasons. Partly because I'm very analytical, I was keen on getting a sense of what life was like for a man when it came to relating to women.

I'd never really thought about it before (mostly because I was so oblivious to my own emotional world) but when I made the commitment to plunge into the world of feelings and emotions, it made complete sense to be curious about the male perspective. What I found so interesting when I read more about PUA's was that for one thing, it's so much more than just being able to pick up and fuck a woman (not that that isn't a goal either!). The men out there teaching the real stuff are truly talking about a transcendent, profound inner shift that radically changes the way they experience first themselves, and then how they relate to everyone and everything. So I totally get why this can be such an incredible experience for the men who get beyond the lines and the external technical skills. It's the application of these tools with a particular vibe, intention, spirit, presence, centred sense of self (however you wanna term it) that result in the most significant experiences taking place.

When I read one of your posts about why there wasn't the female equivalent of RSD, I started thinking about a few things, which leads me to a couple of questions I have for you. I could be wrong, but it occurred to me that not very many women would be attracted to a course that basically promised them that they could learn relationship skills that would enable them to draw and sleep with very large numbers of men. There's no question that the promise of sexual abundance is, for a lot of men, a huge fantasy and something that would motivate them very, very highly to learn PUArtistry, if you will. The average healthy male is very driven by his physical desires, and regular satisfying sex (especially with a hot woman) is something that the vast majority aren't happy to go without for long stretches of time.

The relationship courses for women tend to focus on setting boundaries, not chasing men, becoming more receptive, getting in touch with their femininity, and basically cultivating their own presence too. They are then able to "choose" from a range of suitors in order to select the one who best meets her needs - whatever that may be (i.e. commitment, marriage, kids, etc). Again, I'm generalising to a certain extent. The courses for women - the good ones anyway - are equally adamant about women developing their own version of "inner game". It's just that the goals seem somewhat different between these two communities.

My question has to do with what seems to be a kind of biological essentialism: men want to have sex with as many women as possible, to have an almost unlimited variety of sexual partners, while women want that one special man who will cherish them and love them. It seems to me to be this kind of cleavage between the genders (again, I'm generalising). Whether it has to do with socialisation or biology, women don't seem as motivated by the prospect of endless sexual partners while the men seem to happily dive into that realm, and then some (threesomes, group sex, etc., etc.). So here's the question (roundabout intro notwithstanding!):

What's in it for women?

I don't mean that to sound flippant or dismissive. I'm genuinely curious. If these men plying the PUA trade get really good at it and are indeed living the kinds of relationships they've previously been frustrated about, then I understand how they benefit. They gain enormous confidence, they discover their masculine core, they learn how to stand calm in the face of anything that gets thrown at them, they basically feel in their bodies what it's like to totally OWN everything about themselves and make absolutely no apologies for anything they desire. That's powerful stuff and has amazing repercussions for their life overall.

So these guys are gaining all these amazing benefits and they're basically practising on women as they refine their techniques. You can't get good at something without starting somewhere and honing and polishing your skills until you achieve the degree of excellence/mastery you're happy with. That's an axiom for any endeavour. My question to you - a woman who's spent a lot of time with this community, who's clearly very comfortable with her own sexuality and her own desires- has to do with how you experience connection with the men who ARE connected to themselves in the way that the courses advocate.

Is it enough that you as a woman actually HAVE the experience of being in the flow, of being lead/seduced/taken/ravished by a man in full control of his being? Is that what the payoff is for the woman? I'm reacting, I suppose, to the thought of men "using" women to become better seducers. I'm thinking of those women who are in that dynamic with a newbie PUA, for example, and wondering how they're feeling about it all. You seem to have had the benefit of interacting with highly skilled men, and in a fashion that allows the experience to be this gorgeous, trippy, embodied, exquisite dance of the senses and of connection (physical, spiritual and emotional). But is it really possible for these newbies to truly treat a woman as a full human being when his primary thought is how "effective" he is and that he would love to score? Doesn't it take a pretty evolved being to be able to relate to a woman as an equal, as a co-creator in the experience, knowing full well that the encounter may last for an hour, a night, a day, half a week, and then be basically over? How as a man do you respect her fundamental humanity/equality/essence when all your senses are geared towards fucking her? Again, I'm not saying that it's impossible to experience a sort of sacred fucking, and I'm all for the kind of fierce honesty and strength that it requires. But again, what is the woman learning from this and how is it "helping" her? Or is it enough to simply BE and receive all this splendour, to be adored as a goddess for however long it lasts, savour it for what it is, and then let it go?

Back to this essentialism thing: woman as receptive, feminine energy and man as initiating, focused, masculine strength who "takes" what he wants through the strength of his conviction (done respectfully, of course, and with a whole lot of sex involved for the most part). It just strikes me that those categories get even more entrenched, so how is the PU community and its way of relating to women "progress" when it seems to me that women are kind of "passive" in this worldview??

Last thoughts, and I promise to stop this endless riffing!

These guys want, for the most part, young and hot women (again, biology coming into play here to a large extent). I remember reading a comment on a post by a guy who was saying that he felt kind of guilty because he was practising on women he would rate as a 6-7 when he really wanted to be with a 9-10, but that he needed to get good and so this was an inevitable occupational hazard, so to speak. You seem to be someone attractive enough to be approached on a regular basis by alpha men, and have the luxury of turning down their offers of marriage, sexual ecstasy, etc. Not all women are in this position. I don't mean that one accepts whatever is offered from a scarcity mentality, but isn't it somewhat of an axiom that this whole PUA realm is about relative youth? I imagine a PUA could continue a lifestyle of endless girlfriends well into his 50's, totally ok with not wanting monogamy or marriage or children, and still hook women decades younger. I don't think women have quite the same ease of attracting attention when they're older - again, not always the case, but on the whole, that's the reality of it in many ways.

Do these guys really want to eventually settle down with one woman after they've lived what they'd previously only fantasised about? Again, I'm sure it varies from individual to individual, but that also begs the question of how many men NOT thinking about this worldview are in a kind of denial about who they are and their deepest impulses. Then again, self-selecting audiences eh? If a man is authentically happy with his woman and his monogamous relationship/marriage and perhaps his children, then more power to him. I truly believe that the PUA community poses some serious questions about a man's belief systems and how he IS and how he lives his life and whether or not it's truly what he wants - that's an invaluable exercise.

I've been pondering this all because I know that I've always been someone terrified of submitting to my deepest emotions and feelings, especially in a relationship. I fear the ending, the letting go, the pain of disappointment, of offering myself and being "rejected" - all the stuff that comes with relationships and sexual intimacy. That's why your writings on celibacy, on being present, and simply accepting and fully experiencing the moment's flow are intriguing to me. I know I'd survive something not enduring; that's an intellectual understanding, but I'm still a bit afraid to know that in my body and experientially...

Anyway, now that your eyeballs are fried, I'm ending this message. Again, your blog is very cool, I really enjoy your posts, and whatever feedback you can lob back to me would be awesome!

Namaste.

This weekend ... another bootcamp?

Looks like I may be invited to attend another bootcamp this weekend, starting with some in-field training tonight. I will let you know about any adventures and insights that are gained.

Meanwhile, our Vegas and Los Angeles forays are coming up very very soon. I'll be seeing some of my favorite guys, like Sinn, Hypnotica, Zan, Steve Piccus, and Cameron, plus meeting new guys. So I'm sure there'll be lots of fun stories to report.

Tally-ho for now :-)

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Ah well ... bootcamp was rescheduled. But not to fear, I'm going out tonight with someone I've never met before who became a fan of the blog and started emailing me and later commenting (one of our mysterious "anonymous" commenters). It will be fun.

'Til soon ... :-)

Latest happenings ... and a request for your feedback about limiting beliefs

First off, a few Thursday morning musings.

Yesterday felt so eerily quiet, at least on the electronic front. Not many texts, emails, or comments here on the blog. What was interesting though is we had almost as many cyber-visits here as the day before (over 350), so it looks like number of comments often doesn't correlate with number of visits. As for the electronic quiet, I'm not sure what to make of that. It feels a little unnerving but I'll just flow with it as best I can :-)

I attended a sake tasting event last night at Aventine, hosted by the lovely Stella, and was very happy to see Destin Gerek of Erotic Rockstar (he has commented on this blog before) and also Rich Litvin, whom I met in Vegas and who teaches for the Authentic Man Program (which is headed by Decker Cunov, who has been in this blog before and commented on it).

Anyway, I feel tingly just being in these guys' energy field. All three of us are SO thrilled about the spiritual and relationship teaching work that we are doing, that it's just an electric vibe when we get together. Really fun and really welcoming and warm.

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I'm feeling inclined to write a blog post about limiting beliefs and how to eliminate them. Please let me know if that's something you all are interested in, and if so, what types of limiting beliefs are biggies for you.

Please also subscribe to this blog and follow this blog (buttons in the right-hand side bar). Your support is very appreciated!! Happy Thursday, everyone ...

A Love Note to Big Daddy

Dear Big Daddy,

It seems like you are really having a need to be heard. You post on different blogs and sites, sooner or later get IP banned, or your comments are moderated and not published, and it must be very frustrating. Especially because you are the world's greatest ladies man.

When you get frustrated, you amp up the energy even more to see if you can really "get" them. If you can just poke at their vulnerabilities, maybe, just maybe, you will finally be heard.

Big Daddy, we want you to be part of the community. We want everyone to be part of it. I don't even mind you posting your Twitter info on my comments. I'm pretty free and easy about letting people post their websites on here, cuz I believe that sharing is caring, and that there's plenty of everything to go around.

You need to understand, though, Big Daddy, that when you say the things you say, you only push people away. When you post about how you are the greatest ladies man, and you don't bother to connect with whatever blog post the person has just put their heart into, no connection is created, my friend.

If you would like to post here, you are welcome. You are even welcome to share your Twitter info. Everyone is welcome here. My request is that you make at least some effort to interact with the actual content in the blog posts, and to do it in a way that communicates respect to me and everyone else who reads this blog.

Doing that, my dear, will in fact make you the greatest ladies man on earth. It will also get your comments published. Not only here but throughout the community.

The way you treat others is the way you treat yourself.

Love,
Erika

How I got seduced by Connection Guy ... Part III his identity revealed

So who is Connection Guy anyway?

Well, hands down, of everything and everyone I've seen in the seduction community so far, this is the guy who can teach not only pickup and attraction but also deep comfort and intimacy.

The reason I've been saying his identity is obvious is that ... I've been talking about him on this blog for months. And he has been commenting on this blog for months. :-)

Have you guessed now who he is?

He is Entropy, of course.

We met through our blogs, so if you want to see some effective examples of flirting and establishing deep rapport with a girl at the same time, check out his comments on some earlier posts here and here and here.

What better way to show a girl you are sincerely interested in her as a person and not just her body than by engaging her at the level of her passions? (this blog obviously being one of my passions)

Seriously, this kind of banter (from one of his comments on a blog post of mine) is absolutely priceless:

And to be honest I've actually wanted to launch into a spiritual discussion with you since the moment I found your blog. It's what immediately resonated with me and intrigued me about you. But then we started flirting and well, there's no better way to distract a PUA than to flirt with him. :)

He's flirting with me and engaging me in a spiritual discussion AT THE SAME TIME. And enticing me out of celibacy!!!

In his e-book, he actually breaks down what he's doing with in a very easy-to-replicate understandable way. But how it feels to me when he does it with me is very natural and builds so much irresistible chemistry.

I also want to make a quick point about vulnerability. Part of the magic between Connection Guy and me is that we are both willing to set aside all of our defenses and "go naked" with each other. I mean emotionally, silly rabbit ... where is your mind? We've been willing to take ridiculous risks, like spending five nights together in a hotel in Los Angeles when we had never even met in person. And yet because we are both so comfortable at this point revealing ourselves (from all the practice with this work), it didn't really feel like a risk. It felt natural and inevitable.

Anyway, I'm going to write some more articles about all the things he did as we went along, and how it made me feel not only deeply comfortable with him but also irresistibly attracted to him at the same time. And it just seems to get deeper and deeper. We had a wonderful phone conversation last night, and I don't think I've ever felt so much chemistry and so much openness ... with anyone ... simultaneously ... ever in my life.

So stay tuned for more great tips and practical examples on how to build attraction and deep comfort all at the same time ... so that any resistance she has will simply melt away into nothingness ... :-)

Musings about One-itis (leading into a comment on the value of persistence)

Be forewarned, this is a little bit of a rant.

Yes, I am a little frustrated right now with one of my girlfriends. Actually, it could be any number of girls that I know, so I'll write this up as a composite anonymous scenario. Here goes:

Girl gets into exclusive but not permanently committed relationship with guy. Girl stops going out and meeting new guys. Girl has it in her mind that she can't be truly happy until she is married with children, and decides she must marry THIS guy. Meanwhile, Guy drags his feet about committing to her. As time goes on, each time I see her, she seems increasingly unhappy. Yet she still won't go out and meet other guys (not even socially). She has to be with this ONE guy, even though she's not happy with him and always upset with him. She has convinced herself that WHEN they get married, all the unhappiness will magically be fixed. Girl and Guy become increasingly resentful of each other. Negative feelings build and build. Girl finally gives Guy an ultimatum: marry her or else. Guy bails on the relationship altogether. Girl is miserable and spends weeks or months crying before finally starting the whole cycle all over again with a new guy.

This one-itis, scarcity mindset drives me insane. All a girl needs to ask herself is one question: am I happy right now? Not ... will I be happy in the future IF this guy commits to me? Am I happy right now, and if not, what can I do RIGHT NOW to fix that problem? (And the answer may very well be breaking up with the guy and getting herself out there to meet people!)

I was that girl once. But not anymore. The scarcity mindset baffles me because in my life now, I find myself on a regular basis being the only girl among entire groups of sexy men ... many of whom would be fun to explore with on a deeper level. This happened at Burning Man, it happened in Las Vegas and Los Angeles, it happens skiing at Squaw Valley, and most recently it happened on Friday night.

On Friday night, I went out with a guy who has been in my life for three or four years. I'll call him Mr. Big Guy (in honor of Mr. Big from Sex and the City and also because he happens to be 6'4" and 240 pounds ;-). We went out to Le Colonial for drinks and then to a strip club. And as happens a lot to me lately, it ended up being me and about 10 guys (cuz we had Mr. Big Guy's group and then we ran into a couple more guys I knew at the club). How can women say there aren't enough men? There are amazing sexy men everywhere!

And now this is how we meander into commentary on the value of persistence in dating. So Mr. Big Guy and I have been solidly in the friend zone most of the time we've known each other. We have tons of interests in common, our spiritual bent and skiing among them, and have kept in touch regularly. Over the past six months, he has been an amazing friend to me. He follows the blog, he watches out for me, and he has been steadily persistent with me.

Anyway, kind of out of nowhere on Friday night ... I suddenly felt a LOT of chemistry between us. He felt the shift too. Attraction is such a funny thing. It literally came out of nowhere. But to me it shows the value of persistence. Sinn and I were talking about this the other day too. Persistence shows sincerity. It builds a deeper connection over time. And it requires solid inner game to be steadily persistent, because it means a guy is accepting the girl wherever she is at, not taking things personally, and not letting it affect his course of action. When a man who is centered consistently communicates his desire for me over time in a detached-from-the-outcome kind of way, I often find it irresistibly sexy.

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Ok next post will probably be another one on Deep Comfort Game and Connection Guy. Btw, a couple of you guessed correctly who he is ... to me it seems so obvious ;-)

Even More Seduction Adventures Coming Soon in Vegas ... Mehow's Conference

So I'm sitting on my comfy bed relaxing after a very busy (and way too "in my head") week, drinking a glass of red Zinfandel. Sitting on my deep red silk textured bedspread. I love the way red makes me feel. Deep ruby red. So I have lots of red: red cashmere sweaters, red leather jackets, red manicured nails, red crystal earrings. Red is the color of love. I once resolved that if I ever got married, it would be in a red dress rather than a white one. Ah, but I digress ...

Anyway, my friend, who definitely needs a nickname for this blog, is on his way up to San Francisco in a limo for a fun night on the town. So until he gets here ...

I already mentioned the seduction adventures that await us in Los Angeles.

Now we have more fun ahead ... and it's even sooner than the Los Angeles conference. Mehow is having a 10 Second Attraction conference in Vegas the weekend of March 7-8.

And guess who's going to be there? (besides Mehow, of course ... duh) Hypnotica, Sinn, Lovedrop, El Topo, DJ Fuji, and Kamouflage. How very intriguing, for so many reasons! ;-)

A Course in Miracles on Reframing

I have sometimes said that my nickname for A Course in Miracles (ACIM) is "God's Ultimate Guide to Inner Game." I've also said that ACIM undergirds everything I teach about seduction. Indeed, it's one of the most seductive books I've ever read ;-)

Anyway, this morning I was reminded of an ACIM quotation that for me sums up the essence of "reframing," which is a term the seduction community uses frequently.

In any situation in which you are uncertain, the first thing to consider, very simply, is "What do I want to come of this? What is it for?" The clarification of the goal belongs at the beginning, for it is this which will determine the outcome. In the ego's procedure this is reversed. The situation becomes the determiner of the outcome, which can be anything. The reason for this disorganized approach is evident. The ego does not know what it wants to come of the situation. It is aware of what it does not want, but only that. It has no positive goal at all.

Without a clear-cut, positive goal, set at the outset, the situation just seems to happen, and makes no sense until it has already happened. Then you look back at it, and try to piece together what it must have meant. And you will be wrong. Not only is your judgment in the past, but you have no idea what should happen. No goal was set with which to bring the means in line. And now the only judgment left to make is whether or not the ego likes it; is it acceptable, or does it call for vengeance? The absence of a criterion for outcome, set in advance, makes understanding doubtful and evaluation impossible.

The value of deciding in advance what you want to happen is simply that you will perceive the situation as a means to make it happen. You will therefore make every effort to overlook what interferes with the accomplishment of your objective, and concentrate on everything that helps you meet it. It is quite noticeable that this approach has brought you closer to the Holy Spirit's sorting out of truth and falsity. The true becomes what can be used to meet the goal. The false becomes the useless from this point of view. The situation now has meaning, but only because the goal has made it meaningful.

I've heard Sinn say to ignore what doesn't help you. Isn't that what ACIM is saying? "You will therefore make every effort to overlook what interferes with the accomplishment of your objective." But I'd even go a step farther and say that most things that seem like they "don't help you" (and this goes for anything in life) can be reframed in your mind as something that helps you meet your objective.

ACIM also says:

To forgive is merely to remember only the loving thoughts you gave in the past, and those that were given you. All the rest must be forgotten. Forgiveness is a selective remembering, based not on your selection.

Ah yes, forgiveness is the ultimate form of reframing :-) So reframing looks forward (helping us fulfill our intentions) and it also looks backwards (reframing memories and helping us remember the past in a positive light).

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is great for this, too. Once negative emotions are expressed and released using EFT, the mind often spontaneously reframes whatever issue is being addressed. It's quite magical!

When we get in the habit of reframing, we are literally retraining the Reticular Activation System (RAS) in our brain, and we will tend to see more and more of what we want, and less and less of what we don't want. It's too long a discussion for this article, but this is part of why dating a lot of people is helpful. It provides a more fluid environment for the brain to start picking up new positive occurrences, whereas often in a monogamous relationship situation people's brains get stuck in a patterned rut.

People don't always understand why I talk about ACIM in the seduction context. As I see it, guys with really good "game" are literally creating miracles. They get results with women that seem to most people to be "impossible." Combine that with ACIM's win/win, abundance and happiness-oriented mindset, and it makes all the sense in the world to talk about the two things together.

Two Styles of Seduction: Fear-Based and Love-Based

First off, on the theme of "ask and it is given," I'm very excited that since posting yesterday about my desire to coach guys, I've had two blog readers offer to refer clients to me for coaching. Hooray! If anyone else out there is so inclined, please email me at erika.awakening@gmail.com.

Now ... on to our topic of the day.

Since starting this blog back in September, I have received a LOT of emails and commentary from people (blog readers and friends) who are worried that the seduction community is all about "taking advantage" of women, preying on their insecurities, etc. That it's shallow and deceptive and on and on. Is there a "dark side" of the community? Yes, there is, just like there is a dark side of just about every profession or hobby. It's called the ego, and it can show up anywhere in our lives. Although this topic could span many blog posts, I want to take up just one piece of the puzzle today: what I see as two styles of seduction.

The first style is fear-based. Fear is always of the ego. An example of fear-based seduction is the "neg." Here I don't mean playful teasing. I mean the sharp comment that is designed to lower a woman's self-esteem so that she will feel less good about herself and see the man as more attractive by comparison. This style of seduction goes way beyond negs though. It encompasses things like trying to keep a woman off balance by making comments intended to get her to question her own judgment, feelings, and so forth. If the woman has hesitations or doubts, the guy takes this personally and calls her "needy" or some other criticism. It would also cover "freeze outs" (where if the woman doesn't have sex with the guy right away, he withdraws affection from her). The idea behind this style of seduction is that if the woman is always feeling a little insecure, then she will have sex with the guy (or do other things) in order to win back his approval. Blech! I find this style of seduction to be revolting!!

The second style is love-based. Fear is entirely absent. It doesn't matter if the two people have sex and never talk again or if they end up being life-long soulmates. It is always based on natural attraction and aligned intentions (i.e., if it's a one-night stand, then both people are happy with that outcome -- Entropy called them "same night loves"). If the girl feels hesitation about having sex, the guy doesn't invalidate that with a freeze-out. He stays with her energy until she gets past her hesitation. Maybe he even gives her MORE affection. And maybe he cares less whether they actually have sex because they are both just enjoying being together. It is not outcome driven. There tends to be a lot less drama and no game-playing, and both people can simply immerse in the divine pleasure of intimacy and connection. Ideally, the two people are supporting each other, appreciating each other, adoring each other. Afterwards, they both feel uplifted.

Sinn, you asked on your blog "how do you leave her better than you found her?" My answer is that you always employ a love-based model and make sure that the intentions of the two people are matched.

I count some of my "almost sex" experiences with guys as highlights of my life, and many of them have led to incredible friendships. Why? Because we were both honest about our intentions (including, from my side, that I'm not interested in having sex with a guy unless we are moving toward a deeper, more committed -- though not necessarily monogamous -- relationship). When I stay within my own integrity that way, I don't end up feeling resentment or second thoughts about the experience. I keep all my good feelings about myself and the guy. So this is a matter of honest, open communication about intentions. There are plenty of women out there who are fine with having same night loves and so forth, and if they are acting in their integrity, more power to them. At least for now, that is not what feels good to me, and I *always* pay attention to how I feel.

Of course, the Higher Powers are so clever that they will turn even the "negative" experiences into gifts for us, if we let them, but why learn through pain? For me, a successful seduction is one where both people continue to have good feelings about each other, indefinitely, regardless of the form the relationship takes after sex.

Wow, hats off to Zan ...

Zan Perrion, that is, for an incredibly daring and innovative new pricing model for his Ars Amorata program.

This touches my heart especially because in the Non-Violent Communication (NVC) world, a lot of instructors ask students to pay whatever feels good to them rather than a fixed price. There is often a recommended fee, but they never want people to be turned away from NVC for financial reasons. In addition, the philosophy of NVC is always to transform "shoulds" and obligations into giving that comes from the heart.

I am very curious to see how things go with Zan's new model. And I especially appreciate his forthrightness (and humor) at the bottom of the page:

Is this a good business model?
I have no idea.

How long will you be offering this pricing model?
As long as I can.

Very inspiring, Zan :-)

Why Erika Needs to Be Coaching Guys ;-)

First off, yay, the Woo Woo blog made it into another article, this time by Bobby Rio, you can see it here.

Second off, also found on Bobby Rio's website, go Jennifer Aniston (click here). What an inspiration she is.

And now, settling into our regularly scheduled programming. I just got back from a super fun ski weekend with one of my smoking hot Eastern European girlfriends. We'll call her Czech Girl. A couple of years ago, she was one of the bachelorettes on that show Joe Millionaire, so that gives you an idea of how hot she is. And, yes, she does have a very sexy accent, which leads us into our story for today.

When Czech Girl and I go out, we get approached A LOT. This weekend was no exception. We had two nights of apres-ski, and both nights we had dinner and drinks at a very sociable restaurant in Squaw Village called Twenty-Two. Both nights we were sitting at the bar.

The first night, we were very innocently minding our own business when the guy on the other side of her started talking to us. (We'll call him 22 Guy.) Neither one of us are the type to blow guys out unless they are really rude, so we were giving him a chance. Unfortunately ... and you regular blog readers know I've written about this before, the conversation started going something like this:

Him: Where are you from?

[Oh God, I can't take it! Czech Girl and I have been approached so many times, and her accent is of course immediately noticeable, but seriously, do you want to be the 999,999th guy to ask this question?!? Puh-leeeze.]

Me (interrupting before she answers because I can't take it): How about if you guess where she is from? That'll at least make it interesting for us.

Him: Ummm... well if I had to guess, I'd say Brazil.

Czech Girl: Brazil?! [looking at me and continuing:] Can you believe he thinks I'm from Brazil?! Do I look Brazilian?!

I have been to Brazil, and admittedly it's a diverse population down there, but she really does not look Brazilian :-)

[OK, so he is way off base, but at least she is engaged now. Better to get a negative reaction than a comatose one.]

So finally after a few more guesses, he guessed she was from the Czech Republic, but then he reverted right back to asking "interview" questions again.

Him: Where in the Czech Republic?

Him: How long have you lived here?

Him: What do you do for work?

Czech Girl: [She tries to make polite conversation, but after a few more questions like this, her body is turned almost 180 degrees away from him, the "energy" of the conversation has dropped into the floor, and she turns to me and says:] Let's go over to the other bar, Erika.

At this point, I can't hold myself back any longer. When I tune into this guy's energy, he's so in his head that I can literally feel gears whirring up there. All the energy has been sucked out of us within about five minutes, and I just can't let a guy continue on like this, so ...

Me (to him): Ok, stop. Hold everything. 22 Guy, I want you to look at Czech Girl's body language right now. What is her body language telling you?

Him: *deer in the headlights look*

Me: Does she look like she is connecting at any level with what you are talking about? Noooooo... look at her. The energy of this conversation has dropped to lifeless, and she wants to get the hell out of here.

Him: Yeah, I've been living overseas and just got back here again, and I'm having trouble with the transition.

Me: Ok, look, 22 Guy, we have a lot of work to do here. First things first, you have got to stop asking questions and start making statements. Can you feel how every time you ask us one of these questions, there is an awkward pause? Do you feel how the energy level of the conversation drops?

A look of vaguely dawning recognition passed over his face.

Me: Do you have any idea how often we get hit on and that guys ask these same boring questions in every single conversation? Do you know how tired we are of answering them? Do you understand how tired I am of hearing Czech Girl answer that she is from Prague, and blah blah blah every single time?

Him: So what am I supposed to do? I'm trying to get to know you guys.

Me: Well, we need to get you doing everything differently. And the first thing you must do is stop asking these inane questions and start making statements. Start guessing, playfully guessing the answers instead of asking.

Anyway, from here I gave him a coaching session. (I give credit to Connection Guy for providing an easily teachable way to avoid "interviewing" a girl into an early death from boredom. He talks about it in his e-book. Instead of asking, a guy guesses and does a series of cold reads. "You seem like you're Brazilian, you've got that mischievous look that I've seen with Brazilian girls," etc.)

I also gave 22 Guy instruction in kino and using sexual imagery to heat a girl up. But I emphasized that he shouldn't even TRY those things until he can get basic rapport with a girl using statements instead of questions. I explained how the girl needs to be imagining having sex with him in her mind long before he ever actually tries to have sex with her. We also talked about inner game issues because a lot of his statements about his ex-girlfriends revealed a victim mindset, and a guy needs to reorient himself to positive beliefs about women if he's ever going to have fulfilling relationships with them.

Anyway, Czech Girl and I moved on to another bar. To 22 Guy's credit, he actually sought us out later, and joined our group so he could get more coaching. And the whole interaction was a huge gift to me, too, because it made me realize how much this coaching thing is my passion and calling in life, and that I really need to be doing it professionally. When I see a guy "get it," even if he's only getting some little piece of the overall puzzle, it lights me up inside. Every single guy on this planet is capable of "getting it," and I want to see men and women having much more exciting and fulfilling relationships, so seeing a guy get it at any level makes me very very happy. :-)

This was also really fun because Czech Girl finally got to see why I am so fired up about this seduction stuff. Indeed, the very next night, at the very same bar, we got approached by another guy (we'll call him Second 22 Guy). He opened us with a low-pressure situational opener ("is that dinner for you guys or just a snack?") and then proceeded to engage us in a lively conversation that quickly deepened. He unapologetically told us he was divorced with kids, and that led to a conversation about what went wrong with his marriage. He didn't blame his wife at all though and showed how much he had learned from the relationship, so that was a turn on. We ended up inviting him to a party that was happening later at our house. I went to bed early, but Czech Girl told me this in the morning:

Czech Girl: Erika, you were so right about this. Second 22 Guy did all the things you were telling 22 Guy to do. Second 22 Guy was using statements instead of questions. He started touching me at the party, and touched me more and more as the night went on, and I was feeling more and more comfortable. And I really did start imagining what it would be like to do more with him. It was such a contrast to the night before. It felt completely different. And now I see what you mean about teaching this stuff to guys.

Need I say more? :-)

Why Integrating the Shadow Self Makes Us Irresistibly Attractive

Right now I'm watching Dead Poets Society again. Damn this movie is good! Any guy (or girl for that matter) looking to improve their inner game MUST see this movie.

So on another note ... Hypnotica has been working me over for a while now, since we met in Vegas at the beginning of January ... sometimes sweet, sometimes sexy, sometimes really hard on me ... always dominant.

We had a funny text exchange yesterday. He was hard on me all the previous night and during the day, and then suddenly he turned sweet, and by that point because he had been working me over so hard I was just laughing. :-)

Some snippets of our conversation (remember, this is after he's been push/pulling with me relentlessly for quite a while):

Him: All I have done is point things out. You can do with or without them anyway you choose.

Me: Well it would help me if you would explain more how it's landing with you.

Him: I don't teach that way. It's more of a surprize when you "get it."

Me (finding myself surprisingly amused): Lol :) ok honey. Love you. *kiss*

Him: My teachings are not for the timid. Kiss your little forehead for me.

Then we were talking about seeing each other again, because we have some events together next month. [intimate conversation omitted ;-)]

After this all push/pull sank in for me, the conversation continued:

Me: It's like you are running good cop bad cop on me, except you are both cops.

Him (without missing a beat): And neutral cop.

LMFAO :-)

Later I asked him if he minded me putting parts of our text conversation on the blog. He said it was ok. And then he said ...

Him: You can tell them that I am prequalifying you.

Lol :-) Fucking priceless.

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Anyhoo, the good cop bad cop thing reminded me of a *very* important point. I've talked about it on RSD Nation a few times but not much here on the blog. And that is the importance of integrating the Shadow Self.

Conventional dating wisdom says that women are foolish when they want to date "bad boys." I say women who are daring enough to admit they want to date bad boys are halfway to Heaven.

I've made no secret of my attraction. Two of my favorite movie heroes are Tommy Crown from the Thomas Crown Affair and George Clooney's character (wooing Jennifer Lopez) in Out of Sight. Both criminals. Both with a sense of humor and an utterly unconventional approach to life. Both utterly seductive.

Why do we love bad boys? Is it because we are masochists and don't know what's good for us? Noooooo...

It is because we want to be alive. And part of the way we come to life is to embrace all aspects of ourselves. This goes for men and women. People who suppress their mischievous "dark" side are half dead.

The Tao agrees. "Be really whole and all things will come to you."

What does being really whole mean? It means loving and expressing all of our facets. It means opening ourselves up and letting ourselves be seen, even when we are frustrated or angry or ashamed. It means finding our mischievous playful side, the part that wants to be "bad," and finding ways for that bad side to be connected to our "good" side. It means realizing there is no good or bad!

There are a couple of really awesome books about this: The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford and The Breakthrough Experience by Dr. John Demartini.

If we don't own our dark side, it owns us. Whereas embracing and owning the dark side makes us very powerful indeed. And besides, it's way too much fun owning it to do anything else :-)

More on this in the upcoming e-book ...

So Who Is Connection Guy Anyway?

For those who are just joining us, Connection Guy is the subject of articles here, here, and here. He is one of only two guys to seduce me fully in the past five years. Which is saying a lot, because I have spent a lot of time with a lot of guys who are phenomenally successful with women (both within the seduction community and in my own social circles).

I'm going to give you all another hint and another example of how CG handled a situation.

The hint: he's on this list (Sinn's top 10).

The example:

Back when CG and I were first getting to know each other, I told him my facebook ID, and he sent me a friend request. I was getting a lot of random friend requests at that time from guys I didn't know, so here's how our conversation went:

Me: so what is your alias CG? I'm not sure I've figured out who you are yet sweetie

Him: Do you really have THAT many PUA's friended? Bit of a groupie, are we? :) I'm CG.

(when I read this, I started laughing out loud, and then I sent some response saying how passionate I am about all this seduction stuff, etc.)

So right from the outset, he's teasing me, and I'm qualifying myself, and he has already distinguished himself from the zillions of other guys hitting on me.

Btw, when I do finally tell you who it is, you all really need to read his book. It's very concise as PUA books go, it explains flirting in a much more straightforward way than other books I've seen, and it gives guys a practical method for achieving calibration -- which I've not seen in the other PUA books I've read.

Anyway, has anyone figured this out yet? ;-)

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p.s. This is a participatory blog. You can participate by submitting comments (below) and by checking out some of the gadgets on the right hand side of the blog (where you will find buttons for subscribing to these posts, following this blog (and getting your photo posted on there if you want), and voting in the poll about content for my upcoming e-book).

Your participation means a lot to me because (as I'm fond of saying) it's much more fun having a conversation than a monologue!

The Difference Between the Guy I Almost Have Sex With and the Guy I Actually Have Sex With

Wow, I just realized this really needs to be a topic for the book. Why? Because although my decision-making process is definitely not representative of all women, I do think it's fairly representative of how high self-esteem women make this decision.

And ... I see a lot of guys who are able to create enough attraction and comfort to get a girl almost there ... but not all the way. Sometimes this is because they are not doing enough leading. Sometimes we just haven't yet had enough contact or time together. But more often it happens for a fundamental reason that I've never seen anyone write about: in the process of creating attraction, they undermined trust.

Examples of this are too much aloofness or playing hard to get, too much trying to be Mr. High Value, too much active disinterest, too much rough teasing, or miscalibrated disclaimers. (It's ok to playfully disqualify yourself to create attraction, but it's important not to do it in a way that undermines her faith in the fabric of your connection.)

I sometimes find myself in the situation of still feeling attraction for a guy, and even still being fond of him, but having emotionally written him off as someone I could trust with deeper feelings and levels of connection. In which case, no matter how attracted to him I am, and no matter how intriguing he is, I won't feel comfortable having sex with him. End of story.

There is a female analog. That silly book The Rules I think teaches girls to be "mysterious" and aloof. I once heard a wise dating coach say, "Play those sorts of games if you want. Be as mysterious as you like. The problem is that you're going to be so mysterious that you won't have a relationship."

If you're too cool for school, and making yourself intentionally unavailable, etc., or playing games of any kind, you're not going to be able to have intimacy.

The truth that most people don't realize is that there is nothing so intriguing and engagingly mysterious as becoming completely vulnerable and allowing another person to see into your soul.

Yes, a very interesting topic indeed.

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Anyway ... as many of you know, I am writing an e-book -- Erika's Definitive Woo Woo Guide to Seducing Beautiful Girls. I would love your ideas and feedback about what would make the book most valuable to you. You can give this to me either in the comments section on this blog (here, for example), or by participating in the poll that I've created in the right-hand margin of this blog. (In the right-hand margin, you can also subscribe or sign up to follow this blog.)

Dead Poets Society and Inner Game

Omg, I just woke up with that movie in my head. Time to go rent it again. One of Robin Williams' best, and I love Robin Williams.

So, inspired by Sinn and Cameron Teone, who have recently been using classic movies and other pop culture to illustrate game theory, let me point out that Dead Poets Society is a beautiful example of teaching guys inner game. Indeed, the whole movie is like an Inner Game Bootcamp!

At its core, it's about getting the guys back in touch with their passion and aliveness. Helping them to be more spontaneous and uninhibited, to embrace all sides of themselves. To be willing to find their own truth regardless of other people's opinions. To follow their dreams. And I do believe, if I remember correctly, that one side effect is that they started doing better with women ...

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Steven: I'll try anything once.

Dalton: Yeah, except sex.

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Keating: A man is not "very tired". He is exhausted. Don't use "very sad." Use, come on Mr. Overstreet, you twerp.

Knox: Morose?

Keating: Exactly. "Morose." Language was developed for one endeavor, and that is, Mr. Anderson. Come on, are you a man or an amoeba? Mr. Perry.

Neil: Uh, to communicate?

Keating: Nooo!! To woo women!

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Lol :-)

Here is a LINK to some great quotations from the movie.

One of my favorites:

"I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life ... to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." - Emerson

And people wonder why I am SO into this seduction stuff.

:-)

Hooray! More Seduction Adventures Await Us in Los Angeles in March ...

I am very excited that the fun is going to continue ...

A bunch of the original gurus and founders of the seduction community are holding a major pow wow in Los Angeles March 19 to 22. You can see all the details HERE.

And guess who is invited? Yes, you guessed it, the Seduction Woo Woo Blog Girl herself, yours truly. So I'll be there, and some of the friends I've already talked about in this blog will be there, including Hypnotica, Steve Piccus, Sinn, Cameron Teone, Formhandle, Zan, Will H. (we met him in Vegas at David Shade's seminar), and Brad P.

In addition, a number of other top seduction community members whom I've not yet had the pleasure to meet will be there, including Stephen Nash, Ross Jeffries, Brent Smith, Swinggcat, David X, and Vin DiCarlo.

This is a pretty star-studded line-up, now that I've written them all down.

With that many Casanovas all in one place, it's going to be quite an adventure, and you'll be hearing all the stories right here. Yay! :-)

Lessons learned from Bootcamp: Connecting with Women begins with Self-Connection

Over the past month or so, I've had the opportunity to attend several bootcamps offered by several different companies. This has been a lot of fun and also a great learning experience for me. It really helped me hone in on guys' sticking points and how to alleviate them.

Entropy once said something on his blog that seemed spot on to me:

You can't run before you can walk, and as we say in Texas, you can't put the horse before the wagon. If you are incapable of holding a pleasant and normal conversation with a stranger for more than five minutes, then how the fuck are you going to make them attracted to you? Changing what you say around isn't going to do dick, it's just going to make things more weird and more awkward.

It's paramount that before guys try to become "pimps" and "players" that they know how to carry on a functioning conversation with a hot girl without freaking the fuck out -- stammering, stuttering and yammering all over the place about stupid shit.

This was really driven home to me when I saw the guys in one of the bootcamps. They were doing a drill where the goal was to improvise conversation based on a word that was thrown out to them. So the instructor might say "dog" or "toaster oven," and the guys were supposed to riff off of that.

Well, what was happening is that the guys were talking and talking but not really saying anything. They were rambling. And it was the kind of conversation that creates zero connection with girls.

Imagine a guy walks up to a girl in a bar and starts rambling on about toaster ovens:

"You know, my friend's toaster oven broke the other day, and he took it into the shop. The shop couldn't fix it. He took it to another shop. Toaster ovens are cool." Blah blah blah.

Is the girl going to connect with that guy? NO. Not because there is anything wrong with the guy either. He's just not saying anything that she can connect with.

So this is when it hit me. The reason these guys are rambling pointlessly on and on and not connecting with girls is that the guys are not connecting with themselves. They are not grounded. They have absolutely no idea why they are saying what they are saying. They are out of touch with their own feelings and their own motivations.

To his credit, the instructor helped ground the guys by asking them to start relating what they were saying back to themselves and the girl, and to say how toaster ovens make them FEEL.

I've talked a lot on this blog about Non-Violent Communication (NVC), and it really hit me during bootcamp how valuable NVC can be for guys learning to connect with women. NVC grounds our communication by tuning us in to the motivations underneath what we are saying. NVC consciously focuses our awareness on what we are feeling and needing, and on what other people are feeling and needing.

To connect with a girl, a guy needs to ground whatever he is saying in feelings and needs.

So if he's telling a story about toaster ovens, maybe it would go like this:

"So my toaster oven broke this morning. That *really* bummed me out." (expressing feelings, creates a natural curiosity in the listener as to why he felt the way he did)

"It bummed me out because that toaster oven is the center of my morning ritual. It's the reason why I jump out of bed in the morning all excited and alive. I get out a fresh bagel, smear it with butter, pile on the raspberry jam that my grandmother makes every year, and it just tastes so good. I've been doing it since I was thirteen, so it reminds me of lots of happy memories of being a kid. I felt so lost without my grandma jam bagel this morning. *pouting playfully*" (says something about himself that she can relate to)

"You seem like the kind of girl who would have a morning ritual." (cold/warm read, engages her and lets her share something about herself)

This is what we call "vibing." It is the heart of connection. But guess what? It's never going to happen unless the guy first connects with himself and understands his own motivations and aliveness.

What makes you happy? What makes you sad? And why? What basic human needs are met or unmet? Go deep within yourself. As the Oracle said, "Know Thyself." Knowing yourself gives you the key for unlocking the door to knowing others in a deep and intimate way.

So that was my realization: connecting with girls begins with self-connection. And NVC is one of the most powerful tools out there for learning self-connection.

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By the way, Erika's Woo Woo Blog is starting to get noticed, and that makes Erika very very happy! Why? Because she feels like she is fulfilling her soul's purpose, finally. There's some NVC for you right there :-)

Check these out:

Infinity's article

5.0's blog

Sinn's blog

Entropy's blog

El Topo's blog

Doc Holliday's blog

Subscribe to this Blog, Follow this Blog

Hey guys,

I have links on the right now for subscribing and following. A bunch of you are already doing one or the other (thank you!). You can follow the blog anonymously, but why not reveal yourself? You get to have your photo on the blog, and it gives people a chance to connect with you and your blogs or whatever else you have going on ...

By subscribing, you'll be sure to receive all the latest seduction reports and also updates on the upcoming e-Book.

So sign up today ... the subscribe and follow buttons are on the right hand side of this blog. Feel free to email me at erika.awakening@gmail.com if you have questions or feedback.

Now back to writing the Definitive Woo Woo e-Book. My goal is to help all of you become Jedi Knights of Seduction, able to magnetize women to you without even using words ... *smiles*

E-Book now in process ... your feedback requested

All right, a series of events has conspired in my life to provide the inspiration ... finally ... for me to write an e-book. Yes, Erika's Definitive Woo Woo Guide to Seducing Beautiful Girls will soon be hitting an internet shelf near you. I already wrote three chapters. Hooray!! :-)

So ... what I'd love to hear from you all is ... what kind of book would be most helpful to you? I'm open to suggestions about form and content. I want to teach guys, systematically and step-by-step, how to form the kind of deep energetic heart chakra connection that people like Connection Guy and Hypnotica are able to create. And of course get the girl, but in a win/win good karma kind of way.

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Last night I had the pleasure of spending the evening with a bunch of Love Systems instructors, including Soul, Starlight, and Keychain. And this time I didn't even have to leave my hometown! They were real sweethearts (well, except for Starlight, who doesn't believe in sharing energy with strangers :-p) and a lot of fun ... cute, too :-)

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Speaking of woo woo, I had a pretty emotionally turbulent week. I wasn't feeling very good today, and I'm now debating whether I feel up to going to a friend's party tonight. But anyway, in the midst of this upset, out of the blue I receive a text message from Hypnotica. The exchange goes like this:

Hypnotica: You ok? ... you're feeling a little too emotional.

Me: Yeah. Something upsetting happened and kinda threw me a little. Feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Hypnotica: Thought so. Can u say, "damn Hypnotica, you are good"?

Me: Fuck yeah.

Lol :-) You see, he can read my emotions even from a distance. Pretty amazing, no?

Respect the woo woo.

On His Plans for Your Mate

Quite a while back, I found this on the internet somewhere. I don't know who the author is, but I saw it again today and wanted to publish it here. If anyone knows who wrote it, by all means let me know.

On His Plans for Your Mate

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone - to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But God says, "No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with living loved by Me alone. I love you, My child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

"You will never be united with another until you are united with Me - exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires and longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing - one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the BEST. Please allow Me to bring it to you - just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest thing - keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I am.

"Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you... you must wait.

"Do not be anxious. Do not worry. Do not look at the things others have gotten or that I've given to them. Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I want to show you.

"And then, when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any would ever dream. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready, I am working even this very minute to Have both of you ready at the same time. Until you are both satisfied exclusive with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me ... and this is perfect Love.

"And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself. Know I love you utterly. I am God Almighty.

"Believe and be satisfied."

Deep Comfort Game Part II: Why Intimacy Matters

Halffull left a comment on this blog the other day. He said:

"[T]he community sucks when it comes to deep comfort connection game. Which is why the stuff 'shouldn't work'... it's going into unexplored territory. More information about this stuff is definitely needed."

Before I get into all the details of how Connection Guy seduced me, I want to say a few words about why deep comfort (a/k/a intimacy) matters. Let me put it this way, If you care about having great sex, then you need to care about intimacy.

One reason that I didn't have sex with anyone for such a long time is that I didn't want to have what I call "aluminum sex." That horrible feeling where you just participated in this incredibly intimate act and then afterwards (and sometimes even during) you feel that awful hollow emptiness. For me, that feeling happens when I don't feel fully connected to the other person.

Whereas with Connection Guy ...

By the time we were having sex, I already felt DEEPLY connected to him. Still, I didn't expect what happened. I have heard lots of people TALK about tantric sex and how amazing it is, but I'd never seen even a glimpse of it. Until now.

Let me just say for now that the sex with Connection Guy was amazing. Not because we did any fancy acrobatics or athleticism. Because of the connection. I'm talking about waves of euphoria coming over us, and we were both feeling it at the same time. I'm talking about seeing white light come over my whole field of vision. About being fully present in the moment as if nothing else existed. A sense of being connected to the Divine.

So why should guys care about intimacy? For lots of reasons, and one of them is great sex. :-)

A few random thoughts this morning ...

Some of the guys in Vegas were talking about polyamory, and I forgot to put this in my blog. Anyway ... it's counterintuitive but they were saying how much more attracted they are to their primary partner when they are also having sex with other women. They said when they come back to their primary partner after having sex with another girl, it's like an entirely fresh and new experience. In other words, contrary to conventional wisdom, a guy "sleeping around" actually benefits his primary partner. (Gasp! ;-)

This is one of the many reasons why I'm so intrigued by polyamory.

In other news, Soul (from Love Systems) and Keychain are in town right now. I am hoping to meet up with them, maybe tonight.

Last night I was out and randomly ran into Aikido Guy. It reminded me how sexy he is ;-) And on Friday I'm seeing the guy from the original Natural Game post. So life just continues to be very interesting.

Also, for all the woo woo skeptics out there, please read THIS.
Lol :-) Now if I can do that with just my hands, imagine what it's like having sex with me. :-)

How I got seduced by Connection Guy ... Part I of a series on Deep Comfort Game

Did you ever have a conversation so engaging that you skipped sleeping altogether just so you could have a few more precious moments to talk and hang out together? I don't think that had happened to me since college. But it happened last night. Today I am deliriously tired and can't even think straight, yet it was so worth every second of sleep deprivation. :-)

I know how you all love the field reports, so I'm going to write a series about how Connection Guy seduced me.

Who is Connection Guy anyway?

A careful reader of this blog would be able to figure it out, but I'll give you some hints:

1. He has been rated a top-10 PUA
2. He has been affectionately dubbed "Your Favorite Guru's Favorite Guru"
3. He is an absolute master with Deep Comfort Game, i.e., authentic intimacy
4. A famous PUA has said of Connection Guy's game: "He does things that should not work, but they work anyway. He has unexplainable game."

If I could change just one thing about the seduction community, I would greatly increase its focus on authentic intimacy. Why? Because authentic intimacy enhances EVERYTHING, including sex. Because authentic intimacy brings fulfillment that is solid and constant (unlike the fleeting and ultimately hollow thrill of the chase or most one-night stands). Because it's fun and alive and exciting!

Stay tuned for some great seduction material.

Seduction Community Synchronicities :-)

On the continuing theme of my life turning into a comedy and all these unexpected synchronicities happening ...

I've been in Los Angeles for the past few days, since Wednesday night. It has been an amazing trip. The main focus is that I've been hanging out and having a really blissful time with Connection Guy. But I'll save that for another post, on Deep Comfort Game, cuz when it comes to real intimacy, this is a PUA who can back up his style with substance. It has been really incredible :-)

For now .... On Friday night, I was hanging out with Cameron Teone (his blog is here). It turns out that Cameron is really hilarious in person. Underneath his surface grumpiness (there are a lot of things about the seduction community that piss him off), he is a really fun and sincere guy.

Anyway, I was at the Casanova lair talk, where Entropy, Doc Holliday (I just linked his blog, which is here), and DJ Fuji were speaking, and Cameron picked me up. After we drove around and around for about an hour, and almost ran out of gas -- it always shocks me just how much driving one can do in Los Angeles -- we ended up in the vicinity of his apartment building. There was a big power outage that night, and the entire multiple block area was completely dark. It turns out that Formhandle, another guy from Neil Strauss's book (which was entitled The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists), lives near Cameron, so Cameron invited him to go out with us.

We drove to a shopping mall called the Grove and parked, and as we are parking, by sheer coincidence, Steve Piccus called Cameron. Cameron told Steve that he was driving with me, and Steve says, "I need to talk to Erika, put her on the phone." Lol :-) I ended up talking to Steve for about ten minutes about White Tiger Tantra!! Just a hilarious coincidence -- but lately this sort of thing has been happening constantly.

So we get to the restaurant, and Cameron and Formhandle were regaling me with stories about the earlier days of the seduction community and Project Hollywood (since they've both been around since long before Neil's book came out). Then Entropy texted me and wanted to join us. So next thing I know Entropy and his friend Megatron (from the Casanova lair) are at the restaurant. We all go back to Cameron's apartment and are drinking and chatting in candlelight because the power is still out. It was sooooo late, so I fell asleep on the couch, and Cameron very sweetly covered me with a blanket.

I slept for a couple of hours, and when I woke up, it's about 4 am. I felt so disoriented. The power had come back on, and whereas I expected that the party would have gotten smaller, I looked up, and there are about six very animated community guys chatting in Cameron's kitchen, including Cameron, Entropy, Doc, Megatron and DJ Fuji. It was like the best of the early community meets the best of the recent community!! And they were all chatting like the best of friends. Which is particularly humorous because Cameron is pretty skeptical of newcomers to the community. Lol :-)

Anyway, if I had not dragged my guys out of there, we would have all been there until dawn ... A very good time was had by all.

Several people have told me that now that I've met almost every guy from Neil's book The Game, it's time for me to write a book about the seduction community from a girl's perspective. And I'm starting to think that's actually a pretty good idea. But I don't think I'll be using Doc's suggestion for a title. He says I should call the book The Dame: Penetrated by the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.

LMAO :-) If anyone has more civilized suggestions for a title, please let me know!